Thursday, June 7, 2012

Winchesters Grill & Saloon of Ventura, Ca.

Wow, a lesson to myself: do not put off writing for too long because you won't remember anything. Maybe I should start taking notes and such.

This is the Winchesters Grill & Saloon.

Again, found this place on Yelp because we have not the single slightest idea about Ventura other than some of the young people living there hated it.

My friends and I (I feel snobbish everything I write it that way, "and I," not "and me." But my honor shall keep me on the right path) started off with an appetizer. It's stuffed mushroom caps with venison.

This is what the dish might have looked like in its
natural wild habitat.

This is what it looked like after a trip to the kitchen, 
with some cheese trying to escape, only 
to find out it's most happy in a human stomach. 

It also had some rice underneath, which went quite pleasant with the mushroom and game meat. People love appetizers. However, I have a theory as of why: it's the first thing that comes, and when hungry, anything's good. 

I should come up with a stamp that stamps
"EMPTIED!"

I ordered a bison burger, and two guys had venison burger, and one unadventurous lady wanted grass-fed beef burger. I mean, come on, really? You come to a restaurant that serves unusual animals, and you want the same animal they serve at McDonald's? I understand they were fed differently, but come on, they all moo the same!

Alright, back to what the real men ordered. So, I had bison.

"Sup."

Wouldn't it be crazy if you have to fight your dinner in order to eat it? But yea, I was kinda expecting something awesome when the food came, but was sorely, very sorely, disappointed.


Honestly, the store could have used random scraps
from any butcher shop and I would not have noticed.
But I'm a nice man, so I'll pretend this is really bison meat.

I mean, come on, if you tell people this is just a regular burger, and no one would stand to object, unless you can see spirits. Then you'll see a dead, or part of a, bison floating over my burger. I don't waste my food and I'm always thankful, therefore I don't get haunted. 

The flavor... I'm no Michelin star judge, so I can't really tell the big difference. The only thing I could say is that it's not that beefy. Surprise, surprise.

EMPTIED! But thinking back... it felt like
any regular burger... I would have had a better
story to tell if I had to fight the bison to eat it.

And then there's the venison burger.

Expecting some poorly photoshopped pictures?
Yea, I was, too.

You can't even see the patty from this angle, this could be a veggie burger if I didn't tell you other wise, but it's really venison, under that melted cheese. Seriously, the only thing different comparing to my bison burger plate is the sweet potato chips. We might have been tricked, what if all the patty were just McDonald's patties? Not that I'm complaining, the Big Mac was the only thing that reminded me of a land far away that I used to call "home" while I was in Taiwan. 


My friend has the nick-name:
"The Vacuum"

Aaaaaaaand the grass-fed beef burger.

"Ooooooh, grass-fed!"
"I'm sorry to inform you, the meat's really 
from McDonald's."

Ladies and Gentlemen, please behold, the FIRST DISH THAT WAS NOT EMPTIED!

What if the true reason why this wasn't finished
is because the meat actually tastes like grass?

Well, it didn't taste bad or anything, just that my friend ordered medium and it arrived well-done. But it's OK, there's a reason why my other friend's nick name is "The Vacuum."

It's like Ghost Buster, but with food! He will take on
all sorts and kinds of challenges! 

He, is what we call, a Man.

So I guess to sum everything up, Winchesters Grill & Saloon was decent. The atmosphere is like a modern old west, minus all the whores next to the piano. I actually didn't see a piano, they really should have a piano and hire some lady in corset to stand next to it, just to complete the experience, and have  some shoot outs once in a while. Our server was still in training, but she was cute, polite, and everybody had a good time. There was another server, who was so flirty, not only that she blinked at me, she also blinked at the girl at my table. Good news, she might swing both ways, just the way I like it. The food wasn't bad at all, just that they failed my imagination, badly. In conclusion, I'd give thumbs up for this restaurant.