Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Moqueca Part 2, with actual food this time

I did not know writing blogs would be this energy-consuming, but it's fun, I guess. This is part 2 of Moqueca restaurant, lots to write about.

Moqueca's bread is slightly more unusual comparing to others, it's toasted bread chips, sliced thin. I liked it, but maybe not for those that love the feeling of soft bread on their tongue. With the bread came this sauce... It's like salsa but tastes like pasta sauce.

Oh my god, look at me, I'm so elegant.

I think that's how you eat it, with the sauce on the bread chip.

Yea, now you know all those
pretty food magazines are staged.
TIME TO HANDLE YOUR TRUTH!

That's what was provided, so I just took an educated guess on how to eat it. If you know the correct way of eating this, please leave your comments on the bottom of this blog. I may or may not choose to read it because I tend not to like mean things. I'm not that into verbal bondage.

It's hard to show how empty the bread basket is because the waiter would come and bring more of it. I think I just found out the glitch to my empty plates gauge system: It doesn't work on anything all-you-can-eat. But who cares, I don't, so neither should you.

Oh yea, we also got this salad, but I didn't care to take a picture because the salad is just a salad, nothing special. But! The dressing is, like, yogurt based or something. Not fat like the usual American stuff, the ranch stuff. I'll save that for Hooters. Man, every time, I go into Hooters, again every, single, time, I go in there, I fall in love with a waitress, or two.

It's hard to tell if this is ranch or not. It's not, totally
yogurt and stuff. 

We had four people at our table. In the menu, under the Panela de Barro, which I have no idea what it meant, says each dish serves two people. So we got two of those. Also next Panela de Barro, it says clay pot. Honestly I think they can put down whatever BS words there and I wouldn't know. It could really be  -- "Fish Poop" (Clay Pot) -- for all I can understand. Good thing I know two languages, at least I won't get f-ed over this way in Chinese.

We got one fish clay pot and a paella dish. The waiter told us that the fish in the clay pot is shark, what kind of shark I can't remember. Does it matter what kind it is? I'M EATING SHARK!

Shark in clay pot, classic Brazilian cuisine,
or at least that's what I expected.

I think I startled the waiter at the time with my excitement over the fact that I'm eating shark. Funny how he was trying to explain that this shark tastes pretty good, but later he found out that I was asking about shark just to confirm that I didn't hear it wrong, it's really shark. Now he understands how my thought process a little better now.

It was served like the portion got
bitten by a shark. Just kidding, I forgot the take
the picture when it came.

Surprisingly, mostly only me, that the dish didn't have a head of a shark in it, and the clay pot looked more like an iron pot. This is some sad times we're going through. However it tastes pretty good when you put some of this cooked shark on rice. But the paella was better in my opinion.


Pronounced "pie-eh-ya," although I would
say it like, "pay-lah," just to annoy pronunciation nazis. 
Dirty socialists, you can't ever trust them.

Now this paella with a ton of different sea food in there tasted like a carnival marching from the spoon to my mouth, then to my stomach. If my description is correct in anyway, I now know what those almost-naked dancers with feathers tastes like, they taste like seafood paella. Without a doubt, this is my favorite for the night, other than the cute waitress that I did not have the pleasure to be served with. Why can't I meet a cute girl unless I'm in a consumer status and have no way to actually talk to her and get her contact info? Does that mean I get hookers? Perhaps, but you'll never find out.


There used to be pieces of shark in there,
not any more, there were two Chinese men
at the table. Chinese people will eat anything.

Well, we managed the finish the shark clay pot. It wasn't bad or anything, but anyway, EMPTIED! Like a bauss.

I wanted to bury my face in this pot and
lick all the rice and whatever witchcraft they laid in there 
clean. But my friends might beat me. 

If I ever order this paella I could probably kill the whole pot. What can I say, the picture shows it all, it was EMPTIED! I really should get this phrase copy righted or something, this could be big, guys.

So some people were asking me to put more criticism into my blog, how about a list? I love lists, if you don't, too bad, I'm gonna make a list anyway.

Here it goes:

From 1 to Cleanness.......................Clean, didn't see any roaches
From 1 to Waiter............................The guys were pretty chill, also water class was never empty
From 1 to Tasty..............................We emptied everything
From 1 to Classy............................My friend James was there, he makes everything classy

I liked this restaurant, but would I go again? Most likely not because it's kinda expensive. I'm willing to bet I could find some awesome Brazilian cuisine with lower prices. Would I recommend this place, totally, go there at least once, if you got the wallet, go a second time, order everything. Anyway, it was a pleasant evening. 

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